You don’t have to raise your voice to appear to be yelling. There are many ways to inaudibly be aggressive: sending nasty emails, enlisting others to exert pressure, and escalating disputes to your boss, to name a few. Yelling, even when done quietly, betrays your frustration and anger, and certainly doesn’t encourage real understanding or acceptance of your message. If you find yourself in a silent shouting match, restart and reframe the discussion. Take a step back and ask the other party to as well.
Work backwards by asking questions like: What are our shared goals? What do we want to accomplish? From this defused spot, you have a much better chance of making progress.
Adapted from “Turn Down the Volume on Yelling!” by Ron Ashkenas.